pork_chop's Xanga

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 07:20:01 GMT

a happy day today.
Wayne and Mandy's wedding!!!

congratulations!!!

maybe post some pics when i have some later on. haha. : )

and now im tiredddd.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 00:28:52 GMT

Today on my way home, i drove by my high-school.
Had a sudden urge to go in, so i parked my car and went in.
Just as I remembered it, the doors are locked for sure by 6pm, but just like before, the students would leave one door over-lapping the other, leaving it open, and it has to be on the gym side because there are practices going on.
Things look pretty much the same, except the vendings are nicer now and all the pictures on bulletin boards are faces i have never seen.
I wanted to go and look at my grad photo but I figured the hallways are all locked by now. Maybe another day.

I miss high-school.
I wouldn't mind going back for a week. haha.
one of those i-miss-my-old-days days.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 01:51:17 GMT

a happy girl is a pretty girl.

I was looking back at some facebook pictures that other people tagged me in it.
I don't think I was particularly different than what I look like now.
Maybe the hair is a bit more curly, but then again I would remember at that point I thought "man my hair is terrible!! gotta do something about it!!"
I guess it's often too easy to not be satisfied about yourself. Liker right now, when my hair is short, I want it long. When my hair is straight, I want it curly. When it's curly, I would want it straight. = = """ When it's black, I want it colored (though I must admit I do enjoy my very black hair right now)

Today I was going to buy moisturizer for my face. I went in with confidence that my skin isn't too bad. But after the sales talked to me, she's like oh you need this for this. You see.. your face is like this. And like.. you know this.. you need to do this. I left that store feeling like "AHH. are things really that wrong with my face?"

As I just looked into the mirror in my bathroom, the thought of "a happy girl is a pretty girl" came and I saw a tired girl. Tired not because I'm physically tired, but tired because I have a lot on my mind, and it absolutely and completely translate on my face.
Actually, I seriously don't think my skin is THAT bad. All i need is some good moisturizer to keep me going and a better diet (water, fruits, and veggies). But I think because I lack the light that I have on my face that I see in my facebook pictures, I feel I dont look pretty. Plus when people keep telling me something is wrong with my face, i'm bound to feel errrrr. That's why i hate going to Chinese cosmetics counter! They will just do ANYTHING to make you buy something!!!

Anyway. A happy girl is a pretty girl.
Maybe that's why brides always look so pretty on their wedding day!! Other than professional make-up, I think it's because they're really happy!

ok.
better diet!
Get good decent skincare just because I need to use it, not because I need to fix something!
Be delighted. Don't have a heavy-heart. Be happy! Be joyful!

RAWRRRR!

Monday, September 07, 2009

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 21:37:09 GMT

我覺得林峯是一個非常吸引人的男生．
從前吸引我的只是覺得他很帥，又高大又型仔，　全部都只是很表面．
今天看完”峯從那裡來”以後，我對他有另外一個看法．
他的內在美很吸引我．我想要從林峯的世界去認識他，你才可以真正地認識這位男孩．
不是電視劇裡面的他，不是台上唱歌的他，只是一個普通廈門香港人的他．

從他身上你會感受到他那一種開朗，享受生命，享受目前的性格．
認真地對每一個人．認真地對工作．不斷努力增值自己，把握面前的機會，做自己喜歡做的事．
這都是很吸引我的．
難道男人都是要到３０歲才開始有自己的想法和吸引人的性格? 難道這就是男人味嗎?

我想跟林峯做朋友也是一件滿開心的事，因為他實在是正能量，一個不錯的榜樣．
可能你說這都是電視做出來的．但我回想起那幾天我跟他面對面的相處，談話，他卻不像在做戲．
mmm...　林峯...　好像很近又好像很遠哦．哈哈．

Sunday, September 06, 2009

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 20:32:57 GMT

You bought me two pots of flower long time ago.
one was mini-rose and the other.. i forgot the name.

I knew at the start roses are delicate and very hard to take care of and the other pot is a survivor -- you dont need to pay much attention to it.
But i adored the roses because they were beautiful and cute, so i bought it anyways.
The other pot... it was alright. It's my favorite color yellow and it looked nice, so i bought it too.

Eventually... they both started to wither. I fed them both water. I put them both under the sun. I know.. i didn't do much of the other stuff like feed them nutrients or change their soil and pots for them.
I just kept feeding them water and putting them under the sun, hoping something would change.
Eventually... another one or two mini rose came out but soon.... the whole plant just died.. so i threw it away.

The pot of yellow flower is still here today. She may have some dried out flowers, some brown leaves, and the flowers are not as bright yellow as before... but i can tell... she's fighting for her life to keep growing. It's a survivor! It's a fighter! Everytime I feel like giving up.. i look at the pot of yellow flower and i will tell myself... "She's still fighting for her life... I shouldn't give up either"

Thank you ... pot of yellow flower. You are a good motivation and reminder.
Let's keep fighting and walking.

walking together

Sun, 23 Aug 2009 05:02:17 GMT

Thank you for your prayer support.
In times like these, I can still hear the voice of God.
Inspirations that I would like to share.
Hope it will shine a light or two on you as well.

God is like a barber. He always wants to give us a nice haircut. And as for ourselves, we all like good haircuts. However, sometimes we like to wiggle around so much in our chair, God is having a hard time to get in there and cut what He thinks looks good on us. He doesn't strap us in, because He loves us and doesn't want us to get hurt. So really, a good nice haircut is just WAITING for you and me, if only we'll stop wiggling and just submit to the barber and trust that His pair of scissors will give us an awesome cut that we've never even expected.

Speaking of trust, it reminds me of the bible study material that i've prepared for my group week or two ago.
I dont know how much my fellowship remembers, but I remember EVERY WORD that i've studied.
If you go read over the story of Jehoshaphat in 2 Chronicles 20:1-30, you will see that the Israelites were in for a big test of faith. Their enemies were nearing them and they asked God what they should do. Instead of fighting against the big, scary outsiders (think about Lord of the Rings), God told them NOT TO DO ANYTHING.
So on the day of the battle, they went out to greet their enemies, but instead of picking up their swords to fight, they started to sing praise to God. Eventually, the enemies started killing themselves and the Israelites did nothing EXCEPT TO TRUST ON GOD'S PROMISE and they won the battle.

Can I stand still and not fight the battle?
Do I trust God when he says "This is not your battle.... Let ME take care of it"?
Really God, just stand there and do nothing?
Really?
Trust?
Let go?
Many of said that, to not let go of something is to NOT trust God because you want to take control.

I feel when there are things that i hold on tight to, God will take it away. In a way, I feel like God is telling me "there is nothing more important in this world for you BUT ME" so you need only me and me only.
You're right. This is not a trial between men and I, but this is a trial between God and I.

DO YOU TRUST ME?

I have come to realize, what it feels like to be in need of God's grace every single day.

Day by Day, and with each passing moment.
Strength I find, to meet my trials here.
Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment,
I've no cause for worry or for fear.
He whose heart is kind beyond all measure,
Gives unto each day what he deems best.
Lovingly, it's part of pain and pleasure,
Mingling toil with peace and rest.

Weird Dream

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 05:43:17 GMT

The other night I had a really weird dream.
I dreamed that I was the pianist for Eason Chan for his singing contest. (Yes. He was auditioning for a contest)
So I had to go over to his house and practice with him. So I got to where I think was in front of his house, and he said "Yeah. The house with seven levels. That's my house" = = ""
so I went into the courtyard, can't find him. So i called him. Nobody picked up but I could hear a ringtone. Next thing I know, I saw his phone. It was a cross-over between blackberry and iphone, plus it looked like the top part of a joy-stick, so the phone was triangular shape. = = ""

Then suddenly we skipped to the contest part.
I played his piece for him, he sang really nicely. Then the judge came up to me and said, why don't you play this song for me. Turns out he wanted me to play Canon in D for him. But for some weird reason, I couldn't play it right!!!! i kept trying and trying, the judge even played on the piano to show me how it's done, but i just couldn't play Canon in D. Instead, I kept playing Fur Elise. = = """""" !!!!!

so then the judge told me... you're out of the contest!
then i woke up.

My dear friends, for those of you with upcoming weddings... PLEASEEEE... PLEASEEE... PLEASEEEEEEEE... Please do not use Canon in D !!!! = = """"""

and i think the whole phone cross-over thing was because I debated for a while if i wanted iphone or blackberry before i got my current phone. lol.

but yea. WEIRD.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 05:20:21 GMT

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 02:34:42 GMT

A thirst for learning.
Since the courses that I plan to take are not offered yet, I decided to start my learning through the internet. Dug up some reading related to my line of work and I have realized that for a child to grow up healthy and well is harder than I thought.

In top of the controllable factors of child-care -- providing a good home environment, nutritious meals to eat, teaching the children the appropriate behaviors and rules of social/peer interaction-- there are also factors in which a parent has no control over but would have to fight against for the well-being of their child if it comes up.

There are so many brain disorders that could affect the development of a child.
What can you do if suddenly at the age of 3 your child has a seizure and thus regresses in their language ability?
What can you do if a bad gene is turned on suddenly when you child was typical like their peers?
That must be such an impact on the parent -- to see their child normal at first and then become atypical.
Autism, Schizophernia, Fragile X Syndrome, Rett Syndrome, Klinefelter Syndrome, Landau-Kleffner Syndrome, etc. It's sooooo SCARY!

On one hand, this makes me really doubt if I want to be a parent in the future.
On the other hand, these information motivates me to do my job better for the child and the parent.
Sometimes my job DOES get tiring (and this i will not deny -- sometimes i really dont want to go to work because it's so stressful) and because it's so repetitive and you don't see results right away, sometimes you do despair. But I guess God put me in this position for a reason. I'm slowly discovering where He will lead me to.

Being a good parent is tough!

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 11:37:53 GMT

been so long since i've written here.
basically because work is very busy and things' been lined up everyday for me.

JMC is officially finished! it's a Joint Mission Conference for all the alliance churches across Canada that's held every 4 years. This year I helped out with the music worship with the NRAC team. I must admit, right now I miss it very much!!! Just getting up every morning to eat and sing and rest, then eat and sing and rest, then eat and sing and rest was the best 5 days!!!

I thank God for His guidance throughout this half a year of practice with a team that I had no association with before, yet everything came together so smoothly and nicely -- brothers and sisters supported each other through prayers, everyone worked hard on their own part, and everyone was serving with one heart. It's an amazing experience and an amazing team!!

Throughout the conference, I've learned to work closely with God, following His voice. At first, it was quite intimitating because the congregation consists of a lot of pastors and older christians, so i felt "what is it that you have to say to them? Afterall, they are so much more experienced than you!!". But God comforted me with words from a close sister of mine. He told me "perhaps these pastors are tired and need someone like you who doesn't work in this "circle" to reinspire them." With that, I pressed on and just sang and play the way I usually do without pressure.

The first night was intimitating/excited/scary, etc all in one. There were 1300+ in the congregation and I was the first to lead the evening worship, PLUS i had to speak mandarin and English. I was scared cuz I felt my mandarin was iffy. But as soon as people started worshipping, the feeling of so many people praising together was amazing! And as the days went on, it was more and more comfortable to be on the stage.

I remembered before leaving for the conference, I prayed hard to God, asking Him to not let my pride get in the way of serving because I was afriad of people's opinions and negative feedback about how the team sang or played, but it turns out people loved what we sang and played and were able to enjoy the worship and be touched by the Holy Spirit. This was a twist that I didn't expect and so suddenly one night I felt the urge to pray to God to not let Satan use my pride against me, expect this time is to no boast in myself. Once again, I reminds of how great the power of prayer is and how important it is to pray in a ministry/service.

All in all, it's been a wonderful experience that I cannot type everything down in words.
I thank God for this wonderful conference!
and now i'm off to a week of vacation. hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahaha.